President Trump’s Former Doctor Slipped Vegetables into His Food
100 Comments


-Let’s get to the news. In a new interview, President Trump’s former
White House doctor said he would put cauliflower
in Trump’s mashed potatoes in an effort to improve
his diet. [ Laughter ] Of course, the hard part was
getting the mashed potatoes into his bacon cheeseburger.
[ Laughter ] That’s right. Trump’s doctor
would put cauliflower into Trump’s mashed potatoes
to improve his diet. I mean, it’s interesting.
If that works, can we try it out
with other stuff? [ Laughter and applause ] “I only signed it because it was
in my mashed potatoes.” In a new interview,
Senator Elizabeth Warren discussed the experience
of running for President and said it can be, quote, “Thrilling but also
very lonely.” Said Tom Steyer, “Same,
but without the thrilling part.” [ Laughter ] In the same interview,
Warren said that running for President is like
living in a movie, specifically the movie
“Grumpy Old Men.” [ Laughter ] Doctors in London recently
conducted brain surgery on a woman while she was awake and had her play the violin
during the procedure to ensure that they didn’t
harm her musical abilities. “So I don’t want to hear that you don’t feel like
practicing today, Mason! [ Laughter and applause ] A woman played while
they messed with her brain.” [ Cheers and applause ] Tyra Banks is preparing
to open her own modeling-inspired theme park. It’s like a regular theme park
except you throw up before you go on
the roller coaster. [ Laughter ] According to a new survey, more than half of women are
distressed by their sex life. “Thankfully not my wife,” said
every single husband. [ Laughter and applause ] Disney has announced
a new partnership with the plant-based
meat company Impossible Foods to offer the Impossible Burger
at their resorts and parks. It will replace what their
burgers are currently made of, Goofy.
[ Light laughter ] [ Audience aws ] He’s not…
He’s not real. [ Laughter ] And finally — and not big
enough to feed a park. [ Laughter ] And finally, McDonald’s is
auctioning off a Shamrock Shake cup
for charity that is made from 18-karat gold
and is worth $90,000. It’s the most valuable thing
in McDonald’s aside from the bathroom code.
[ Laughter ]

100 thoughts on “President Trump’s Former Doctor Slipped Vegetables into His Food

  1. Goofy is supposed to be a dog.
    That was a Seth should not say on air, but thank you for saying it.

    We don't need a total PC existence.

    Some jokes need a little burn.

  2. The leader (HA) of the free world has the emotional level of a 4 year old. I won't say the I.Q. of a 4 year old because let's face it, most 3 year olds could run circles around him.

  3. He is old but he is acting like a children who don't like veggies . The chef must be having a hard time cooking for him he is a picky eater too

  4. Trump is on his third chief of staff, his fourth national security adviser, his fourth defense secretary, his fifth secretary of homeland security, his sixth deputy national security adviser and his seventh communications director. When will his base realise the problem is him.

  5. Everyone knows the burgers at Disney are made from Eyore clones, Goofy could still escape by stupidity while Eyore would just brood about his life being over and rebuild his stick house…

  6. Everybody in the comments: Jokes about Trump and his doctor
    Me: Stoned, laughing hysterically at the bit about Disney

  7. I guess the question is, when women are distressed by their sex life is it because they are having too little sex, or being asked to have too much?

  8. "Women find their sex life unappealling."

    MSM: Shrugs it off like it is no big deal

    Women: "SOCIETY IS MISOGYNISTIC!"

    Men: "If you think you don't like your sex life, then you should see what our opinion on the subject."

    Women: "OPPRESSION!"

    Men: "Can we not have a voice?"

    Women: "Okay… say your stupid misogynistic crap and then F off. We don''t need you men."

    Men: "Then how do you expect us to change? You don't need us, then we don't have to be anything for you and that means we can ignore you."

    Women: "OPPRESSION!"

    Men: "Then inform us why we should care."

    Women: "OPPRESSION!"

    Men: "For yourselves or about us?"

    Women: "MEN CAN NEVER BE OPPRESSED!"

    Men: "That is not true. Just the same as men can be raped and even by women, men can also suffer from oppression."

    Women: "White rich Christian conservative men feel no oppression."

    Men: "Also not true."

    Women: "We matter more."

    Men: "Yet you cannot survive on your own."

    Women: "Yeah… but… we don't need men."

    Men: "Then go survive on your own."

    Women: "OPPRESSION!"

    Men: "How?"

    Women: "You hate women."

    Men: "How?"

    Women: "Because society always favor men over women."

    Men: "You mean women in general favor men over women. You do know feminism is really just an intergenerational conflict between women with men the casualties. And you don't think that is oppressive to us?"

    Women: "Huh…"

  9. "Women find their sex life unappealling."

    MSM: Shrugs it off like it is no big deal

    Women: "SOCIETY IS MISOGYNISTIC!"

    Men: "If you think you don't like your sex life, then you should see what our opinion on the subject."

    Women: "OPPRESSION!"

    Men: "Can we not have a voice?"

    Women: "Okay… say your stupid misogynistic crap and then F off. We don''t need you men."

    Men: "Then how do you expect us to change? You don't need us, then we don't have to be anything for you and that means we can ignore you."

    Women: "OPPRESSION!"

    Men: "Then inform us why we should care."

    Women: "OPPRESSION!"

    Men: "For yourselves or about us?"

    Women: "MEN CAN NEVER BE OPPRESSED!"

    Men: "That is not true. Just the same as men can be raped and even by women, men can also suffer from oppression."

    Women: "White rich Christian conservative men feel no oppression."

    Men: "Also not true."

    Women: "We matter more."

    Men: "Yet you cannot survive on your own."

    Women: "Yeah… but… we don't need men."

    Men: "Then go survive on your own."

    Women: "OPPRESSION!"

    Men: "How?"

    Women: "You hate women."

    Men: "How?"

    Women: "Because society always favor men over women."

    Men: "You mean women in general favor men over women. You do know feminism is really just an intergenerational conflict between women with men the casualties. And you don't think that is oppressive to us?"

    Women: "Huh…"

  10. "Women find their sex life unappealling."

    MSM: Shrugs it off like it is no big deal

    Women: "SOCIETY IS MISOGYNISTIC!"

    Men: "If you think you don't like your sex life, then you should see what our opinion is on the subject."

    Women: "OPPRESSION!"

    Men: "Can we not have a voice?"

    Women: "Okay… say your stupid misogynistic crap and then F off. We don''t need you men."

    Men: "Then how do you expect us to change? You don't need us, then we don't have to be anything for you and that means we can ignore you."

    Women: "OPPRESSION!"

    Men: "Then inform us why we should care."

    Women: "OPPRESSION!"

    Men: "For yourselves or about us?"

    Women: "MEN CAN NEVER BE OPPRESSED!"

    Men: "That is not true. Just the same as men can be raped and even by women, men can also suffer from oppression."

    Women: "White rich Christian conservative men feel no oppression."

    Men: "Also not true."

    Women: "We matter more."

    Men: "Yet you cannot survive on your own."

    Women: "Yeah… but… we don't need men."

    Men: "Then go survive on your own."

    Women: "OPPRESSION!"

    Men: "How?"

    Women: "You hate women."

    Men: "How?"

    Women: "Because society always favor men over women."

    Men: "You mean women in general favor men over women. You do know feminism is really just an intergenerational conflict between women with men as the casualties. And you don't think that is oppressive to us?"

    Women: "Huh…"

    Men: "And women are not the more caring sex. Men are the more caring sex. Women are the smarter sex and able to pick up jobs or roles that require less work. Due to societal changes sometimes these previously lazygirl roles end up becoming a bad deal and so women in the proceeding generation protest while the women in the former generation oppress the young generation. Sometimes you have women who lead from the former generation in the new generation as you may also have women from the newer generation trying to rise up in the older generation. This is called a culture war. The point is you have women with different needs and wants in which you are completely ignorant about. Stupidly ignorant might I add as you think you can represent everyone in your sex while at the same time be oblivious for why you could have your most critical opposition from members from the same sex."

    Women: Realizing their stupidity "D'oh!"

  11. We all know trumps diet is not the best. Why keep lying otherwise?!? 🤷‍♂️

    They literally lie about things they don't even have to lie about…fucking idiots

  12. Bulimia jokes about models? I fuckin' love you so much, Seth, but that was not cool. At all. Not funny. Not one bit.

  13. Now we know It was the carrots, orange turnips and sweet potatoes that made Trumps hair and skin turn orange. Blame it on the Doctor.

  14. This is ANOTHER DISTRACTION FROM THE CORONAVIRUS, THE ELECTION AND EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING ON.
    KEEP FOCUS TRUMPSHIT AND HIS REPUBLICANS SWAMPS IS TRYING TO DISTRACT THE PEOPLE

  15. imagine the secret service. "Hey the doctor is putting foreign substances into the Presidents food without his knowledge."
    "Is it poison?"
    "Worse, kale"

  16. I'm coming damn close to forming a religion based on Seth's monologue and, for followers who commit to just $5 per day on Patreon, a behind-the-scenes, exclusive look at each and every A Closer Look.
    You laugh? How's this different from L. Ron Hubbard's made-up-by-some-ahole religion? For more on that it's time for Meanwhile .

  17. With so many trigger happy lunatics in the US it's a miracle the retard is still breathing, it has to be some sort of miracle

  18. 🤫 I've been praying 🙏 like hell for #MoscowMitch & DonTheCon to both stroke out 🤪🤪 & this has led me to believe that there is NO God.😒

    😁🤭🤣

  19. Hey, Seth, maybe you can get a few politicians on and ask them about the electoral college members and what is being don't to vet them and make sure they aren't susceptible to Russian "influence"

  20. 1:52 – "It'll replace what their burgers are currently made of: Goofy"

    You know I always thought their burgers tasted funny

  21. Meyers is hands down the best comedy talk show host now. Colbert has gotten goofy and narcissistic I think and Noah never was funny. Just my opinion.

  22. The lady playing the violin during surgery reminded me of this:
    "Doctor, after this surgery can I play the piano?"
    "yes"
    "great, I never could before"

  23. I know it sounds weird, but the brain does not feel pain. Surgery is routinely done with patient awake to be sure doc is not hacking out too much brain matter.

  24. Seth Meyers it's to bad someone didn't slip something into your food like something you might be able to use !! After you eat !! Mabe a brain. Although in your case I don't think It will help.

  25. Hopefully when he's out of the White House this November he'll have a massive coronary in the middle of his farewell rant. 👍🏻😉

  26. I have no idea how a modeling-inspired theme park would work, but I will say that Tyra Banks has actually been pretty outspoken about eating disorders, and the idea that girls shouldn't have to starve themselves to be on the runway.

  27. This is dumber than even they tried saying he takes mega doses of Sudafed… yet the Sudafed in the picture did have pseudoephedrine! Fail again Seth

  28. okay, we get it. literally no man has ever been able to satisfy any woman sexually even once in the entirety of human history. that's been made very clear.

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