Primitive Cooking Channels
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hello everybody today we are going to be
looking at today we are going to be looking at primitive cooking channels
let’s get the started we’re gonna start with grandpa’s kitchen I’m sure you’re
aware of them because we watch them literally every single day where you
made us alive right now okay I didn’t play there we go okay so just to just pre-emptive here
this channel he cooks a lot of food for orphan kids that’s all you really got to
know he’s an Indian dude in a village I think and he makes food for children oh nothing like a good old Oprah quote
right there it says I mean literally right there over one free except they
didn’t capitalize her first name that’s fine that’s fine
who cares nobody even cares about of his first name just subscribe just just shut
the fuck up and subscribe that is any kidding my family dude that guy had a leather tan did you
see that look at this jeez that is dude spongebob
would be so proud are you kidding me I kind of today I am very free onion did
you can I just say thank God thank fucking god there are captions because I would have
no idea what this dude is saying Oh Mike look at those nails is that a ruler it’s
using a ruler dude we need to get this man a knife Oh what where did the knife
come from and the nails are so clean now what happened
that must be a different person what was that little moan I just heard dude pick
up the pace it’s gonna take all day you really gotta appreciate the audio
and how ASMR is loud it is so this the second dude has a knife and he’s not
giving his grandfather knife he’s using the knife nope never mind
grandpa’s got a knife now and it’s actually a different knife than the
other knife so now they both have knives why did you use a ruler you both have
knives that’s a lot of bread crumbs holy shit that’s a lot of onions dude dude
you can feed like an Indian village with that McKinnon Oh mozzarella cheese dude
what’s on the cheese you there’s like dirt on the cheese Oh oh I thought they were going on top I
think they were putting cheese on top they’re putting cheese like oh they’re
like oh dude this is high tier actually sorry sorry that I was making fun of
Grant I mean this is high elo now okay there’s still shit all over the cheese
and I’m not sure about that dude look at that thing are you guys
seeing this look at that have you ever have you ever
eaten that in your life god I don’t even know how that was supposed to be corn
full I don’t know how what he just said was supposed to be corn flour but corn
flour flour okay he’s saying I guess he’s in like floor
what what there was no cat I don’t know what Jesus he’s literally beating those
eggs white what they did it they didn’t say it they again they didn’t say what
what is he saying grandpa ever gets tired of making these
absolutely massive size food things this videos like 13 minutes long I’m gonna
cut through it you’re thinking forgets tired of it he’s gonna dip it all in
there and get it all over his fingertips and he’s gonna put it in a fryer and
then it’s gonna fry and it’s in a big ass walk and then it’s yeah you get it
it’s fucking onion ring so anyways you think grandpa ever gets tired of doing
these things like he literally has just video after video of making stupidly
stupidly large like serving sizes like not even just look how many look how
much spaghetti that is do you guys see that hold on let me open them let me
open the image do you see this do you see this look at that is that Photoshop look how much look how
much food this is anyways okay there’s a ton channels like these though so this
is just grandpa’s kitchen there’s a ton of related channels to
grandpa’s kitchen they don’t show up on this channel but there’s a ton of
related channels if we just look up let’s say primitive cooking let’s it’s
just that simple primitive cooking we have all kinds of cooking channels a
really popular one is al al Alma’s Ann it’s a a really popular one
is al Alma’s on al al Mazen kitchen Alma’s I’m Alma san i’m al man I’m azan
I’m al Mazen Amma’s Alma’s in the thumbnails are really nice like very
very nice okay so let’s just click on this one the big
nice juicy delicious big tasty best ever burger from one week ago
al al al lovely cinematics on this channel oh oh
he’s got he’s repping the merch guys he is repping the merch so this guy has
like this knife that he uses and like it’s it’s like in every video it’s like
that he sells them to it’s like his only eat ensel it’s just this massive knife
you can see him carrying it’s kind of like a staple for his channel it’s like
what he’s known for look at the cinematics you dick fucking Disney
produce this is this the next Avatar movie actually alright so you can see
the no cheat this intro is something else that was satisfying dude look at
like the quality of this video okay cinematics let’s not watch the
building fire let’s look at a blurry shot of the waterfall damn look at this
look at the camera work dude so this is the knife dude look at that
thing look at the knife isn’t that ridiculous in that the dumbest thing
you’ve ever seen in your life it’s a fucking cleaver dude he’s got this
lovely iceberg Walmart lettuce he’s using for us today god damn it look at
the fucking of film work man tomato this is just visually as Amaury I feel like
that’s what this is Emmentaler and Emmentaler oh oh it’s a cheese oh I
don’t I didn’t know that hey you learn something every time you
watching Alma’s in May I’ll mate that was unbelievably slow did how many
seconds was that cut maybe it’s just really hard to cut
through maybe he’s like putting his entire body weight on that thing
and it’s just going really slowly maybe it’s just intensely difficult to get
through nice dude great work hope you fold in it alright
and for is he is he gonna eat it oh my god
I wasn’t expecting such like a human element to be involved in this video but
Wow look at those supple lips that beautiful 4 o’clock shadow or I guess
stubble maybe maybe like a 9 o’clock shadow actually that’s pretty impressive
if you get that by 4:00 anyway anyways Alma’s aunt wait tasty sauce Alma’s and
tasty sauce what the hell is that mayonnaise what what is it wait I think
I know what the white sauce is what is that were you stirring it with a twig what is that like it has to be a
barbecue sauce I don’t know what else that would be that that is a twig dude
he’s stirring it with a twig that is definitely dude you’re getting
shit in the fucking mayonnaise man dude you’re you stopped using a twig that is
literally just mayonnaise and barbecue sauce by the way I just want to throw
that out here what is that bun that’s a fucking loaf dude that’s not a bun how
big is that thing how big is the burger ok he’s whisking it with a fucking twig
again getting shit you can literally see like particles like floating around in
the egg now what Oh he’s using it as a brush dude there’s
probably like urine from an animal on that leaf that he just use gotta love
the cinema cinema graphicness a cinema graphical miss of this it’s really nice
that is a lot of sesame seeds that thing is gonna be fucking crunchy dude got a nice shot of that hoodie there
nice waterfall shot pan to fire and he’s he’s still toasting the bun oh it’s done
nope nope still toasting or not actually a little bit I guess what what the fuck
where did that fucking grill come from dude that looks that looks right that looks
about right actually that is fucking huge do you see the size of that patty I
thought that was gonna be like two patties actually brushing it off with
again urine-soaked leaves patty that thing’s gonna come apart dude that’s got
to come apart oh my god it’s so fucking large dude look at it in comparison to
the size of the fucking skillet or whatever the fuck grill anyways he’s
gonna he’s gonna cut open the bun you can’t you get it dude it’s it’s he’s
gonna cut open the bun and then and then there’s gonna be a patty in there and
then he’s gonna put the toppings look how fucking big this burger is dude what
in the hell how do you eat this this seems inedible everything is out of
focus in this shot there’s like a tiny layer of the burger that’s in focus
right look at this shot look how everything is out of focus because they
just want to make it so fucking cinematic that they use the tiniest
fucking aperture they can I guess I guess actually the biggest aperture they
can anyways it doesn’t whatever it doesn’t matter it doesn’t matter what
matters is that what matters is that nothing is in focus in this shot because
they want to make it look all cinematic and shit and that burgers too big for
human mouths let’s move on to our final channel which is you know what how about
we have I’m just gonna type in primitive cooking and boom first video let’s go Oh what the fuck dude what did I just witness what was
that god damn she’s got feet of fucking steel
dude she’s like running around on those fucking harsh looking twigs I really
appreciate the sound effects testing it okay now just rebuild the whole thing bro watch your hand don’t get it caught
under that thing that shit was heavy nice totally hidden
that fucking garment you’re wearing isn’t revealing at all you are one with
nature right now what did they shove a bird through that thing
to get like to get the video did they really like actually throw a bird
through that thing just to get the video do you know what that’s so fun oh no
that’s what they did why did she throw her ax down she’s gonna step on that
later with her bare feet how was she gonna kill it when she finds
it what an angle what a camera angle Jesus Christ look at what’s happening
right now where did this guy come from
is he rubbing his stomach what is it the noise he’s making this is so fucking
weird that is a fucking massive fire I guess they’re making like a rotisserie this is kind of fucked imagine like
throwing the fucking bird through the trap to try to make it work
the trap didn’t work but the first four minutes of this video were totally
worthless then she ran for it caught it and now it’s hanging here dude the sound
effects they’re making are just so cringe dude oh my God look at that
dude’s face did you see the fucking face he’s like poking the eyeball that’s
fucking coming out of its head animals have urinated on those leaves she’s okay
that was that was strange this video speaks for itself I don’t even have to
talk that much I just listen to them now we just watch as they eat dude it’s
literally over four minutes of them eating just eating it oh my god it just
keeps going the entire thing the rest of that is just them eating from literally
literally they finish and plate at 7:20 they begin carving and eating at 7:30
right that’s that’s when the first lick was taken the videos 12 minutes 30
seconds long it was 5 minutes of them just eating it okay that’s enough that I
can’t take any more have a nice day
Latvia appreciates thank you so much for stopping by I’ll see you on the street
bye bye al al Mazen kitchen Alma’s L I’m Alma zan I’m Alma amazing
I’m al Mazen Amma’s Alma’s

9 thoughts on “Primitive Cooking Channels

  1. Am I the only person who sees the irony at 3:37 with the bread crumbs being made by a company called "American Garden"?

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