The Roommate Cooking Show
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Hey, everybody! Gus here. Welcome to the Roommate Cooking Show, where we make food and dishes that apparently our roommates just want to leave around the house. JOSH. So, let’s take a look at some of the recipes that we are going to be cooking today. First, a word from our sponsor; Swagbucks is a cool site where you can earn rewards like Amazon gift cards and lots of other gift cards and cash too. You can take surveys, you can use it as a search engine, save up, and buy some stuff! I actually used Swagbucks in high school and I got myself a TV that I still use today! If you sign up today, you get a $5 sign up bonus. Click the link in the description to check it out. It’s a really cool website. Now, let’s cook some food for our roommates So, our first recipe today is What you’re going to want to do for Millimeter Milk is use all of the milk. Just use it all. Look at that; just about done… Perfect… aaaand… Whup! Hold up there! See that last little millimeter of milk in there? Doesn’t count as the milk being gone: that means you don’t have to clean it and throw away the jug you can just stack it right back in the fridge, perfect for any unsuspecting victim to just come in and use the goddamn milk, JOSH. *fortnite* Ugh! Next recipe! Next up, we’re going to be cooking a little side dish So, you’re gonna take the communal cereal. Open it up. Go ahead and take the cereal fill yourself a bunch of bowls of cereal Stop right there! You’re gonna wanna leave that last third in the bottom of the bag. Now is when you take it out. n’ you just smash the SHIT out of the rest of the FUCKING cereal *Gus being a cereal killer* just… …like… …so… …perfect! Now you’re left with an utterly inedible mess of dust. Should you throw this away? Nope! You’re gonna wanna stick this back in the cereal box and put it back in the cupboard so that the next guy that comes around to use the cereal— —it’s just dust. It’s just dust. Can’t eat that, but put it the cupboard anyway JOSH. Yeah. *double snap* Next up we’ve got What are Ketchup Chips you ask? Basically, what you’re gonna want to do is just get a bottle of ketchup use it like you normally would— —look at this beautiful sandwich— —you’re gonna apply your ketchup just like so Fantastic— but when you’re done be sure not to leave a perfectly clean little ketchup hole like that. That would be foolish! You’re gonna want to take the ketchup and dip the cap completely in this stupid shit, just like so; look at that coat right there! This is gonna be fantastic, but it’s not ready to eat yet. D’you want to wipe this off? Well, forget it! You’re gonna want to take the cap and just close it back on perfectly. Look at that! Oozing over the sides; great! Who wouldn’t want to eat that, Josh? Who wouldn’t want to eat that? Seriously, I ask you this. And you’re just gonna want to put it back in the fridge because I guess that’s what you do. Put it right by-by the Millimeter Milk those will go hand-in-hand, won’t they? Huh? There’s already like ten bottles! Josh there’s already like— —why do we have ten bottles of ketchup? Why? Why do we have that though? Anyone can use the ketchup! It’s 85 cents a— (seems as if a fly is interrupting our broadcast…) —a bottle. (the fly is now dead) Next recipe. Okay, our next gourmet recipe is called What you’re gonna want to do is come over the pantry… Look at—look at this absolutely pristine dish of butter. You could put this on anything. Soup, bread, whatever. What you’re gonna want to do with this pristine thing of butter is take your toast. Put a little bit of butter on, just like so. Look how nice and politely I’m just applying the butter. There. Oop—make sure to do it right over the butter itself. Look at that dish. Every time you dip the knife back in, get more crumbs on the butter than butter on the crumbs you hear that, JOSH? Put entire hunks of bread in! Why not? Why wouldn’t you want to just find whole entire chunks of bread in your butter dish? We’re a civilized society Josh! Look at that! Basically our final product. This is gonna sit really nicely. Are you gonna want to clean up these crumbs at all? not one DAMN bit, Josh! Not one bit! You’re gonna want to right back in the cupboard just like so! (laughing on the outside, suffering on the inside) Why would-why wouldn’t you? Why wouldn’t you though? Honestly, like, why would you not? Um… Uh… Alright sticking with the condiments theme, we are going into our final dish of the day, which is Now, with Side-Swipe Peanut Butter what you’re gonna want to do is make y’self a goddamn peanut butter sandwich! Get a nice amount of peanut butter— —oh, but what’s this? Too much peanut butter?! You’re unable to gauge how much a usual human being can put on their sandwich? Too much! Wh—you can’t eat that much that’s like 600 calories! Well, no other choice but to wipe the rest of the peanut butter on the inside rim, just like so, JOSH. But don’t stop there! make sure you get it right in the threads too You’re gonna want to really know that when you put that cap back on it’s just gonna extrude everywhere. The next innocent person that’s gonna come in for the peanut butter Is gonna stick their knife in and— whoops! I got some peanut butter on my- on my hand here! Perfect. Where’s that cap? Let’s get this cap in here… And again, as with our other dishes, right back in the cupboard from whence it came. (laughing) oh god, Josh. I’m glad we live together, buddy. Alright, that brings us to the end of our show today. Special thanks to Swagbucks for sponsoring this episode. Tune in next week while we go over simple ass household chores that are not dispersed equally among the roommates like vacuuming the living room once every two weeks it’s not hard, Josh. And just do the dishes every day! JO-

100 thoughts on “The Roommate Cooking Show

  1. i rent a place with my sister and she does the most annoying shit. i have a ps4 in my room and she uses it when i’m at work (totally fine) but leaves cans and dirty plates and rubbish in my room and OMG I WANT TO SLAP HER SOMETIMES omg 😂

  2. these are all things everybody in my house does regularly, including myself. forgive me father for i have sinned.

  3. I made 14 kilos of trifle desert today to take up almost exactly half the entire fridge space. I regret nothing.

  4. It makes me sad how many people don't understand the culinary benefits of keeping butter at room temperature.

  5. How about the pizza your family ordered last night and the very next day there's one slice left. To be the person who has the last slice, just eat a chunk of that slice of pizza and put it right back into the box. That way, no one will touch it.

  6. what a waste of perfectly good food. unlike and blocking channel. i dunno why this popped up on my feed but never again.

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