– Alright, we’re off. – [Both Men] Chicken Watch 2K15. – We’re gonna find the
best rotisserie chicken at any grocery store chain in Los Angeles. – Rubric: skin, dark meat, light meat, “wow factor”. – Oh yeah, “wow factor”. If you look at this
chicken and you’re like– – [Both Men] “Wow!” – Bonus points if you can
take the leg or the wing and flick it, and the meat comes off. – Okay, alright. – Read off some chicken facts? Poke your head through here. – “Alektrophobia, fear of chickens.” – Woah! Who could be afraid of chickens? – So we’re in a mediocre strip mall. There’s a Radio Shack here, so that should tell you
about how up to date this strip mall is, but who knows? We’re at the Jons Marketplace. – [Keith] This one’s made at 8:30. That one’s made at 8:30. Well, that’s it. – Chicken Watch 2K15. – Chicken Watch 2K15. – Chicken Watch 2K15. – The chicken doesn’t look very good. If I had to describe
this chicken in one word, it would be (slurps) – This skin is nightmarish. – [Keith] Cheers? Cheers.
– [Chris] Cheers. It’s delicious. I’m very impressed, because it looks like it’s
gonna be the worst thing. Also, this one’s five hours old. – It’s a little chewy. – A little chewy. – [Chris] Flick test. Ooh. $6.99. – $6.99. – Jons looks straight out
of a zombie apocalypse, yet this chicken is okay, so I’m gonna give it the “wow factor”. – Let’s go to Vons. – Let’s go to Vons. (sniffing) – “Chicken sperm can survive
in a hen up to 32 days.” – 32 days? Damn! – Chickens are sexual beasts.
– [Keith] Yeah. – You guys, this isn’t just Vons. This is Vons Hollywood. – [Chris] Oh wow. – [Store clerk] Do you want a hot one? – [Kieth] Oh yeah! Dude, that’s perfect!
– [Chris] Wow! – [Keith] Thank you very– – [Store clerk] Welcome
to Vons, fuck Ralphs. – [Keith] Woo!
– [Chris] Yeah! Right! – Yeah! Chicken Watch 2K15! – [Chris] Wow! – [Keith] What’s going on there? – It looks like somebody grabbed some. – Somebody had some of it. Oh my god, that skin is amazing. – That’s the best skin. – I could eat that chicken skin all day. It feels so moist.
– [Chris] Oh my god. How’s the dark meat? – Not as impressive as
everything else has been. – It’s still really good. – It’s still really good. I can’t even flick it, ’cause it– – So does that mean it passes? – Yeah it passes, ’cause it’s so tender I pulled both legs out without trying. – Vons not only gets the “wow factor” because of the taste of the chicken, but also because the guy
brought it right out to us, was really friendly.
– [Keith] Yeah. – And also said, “Fuck Ralphs”. – $7.99. – $7.99. $7.99.
– [Chris] $7.99. – Let’s pack this up and
move on to Albersons. – [Both men] Chicken Watch 2K15! – Man, chicken always in the mood. Right up to Vons, right out to Whole Foods. – Throw another fact down, Shane. – “Eating makes a chicken get hot.” – [Keith] None of these have timestamps. – No timestamps?
– [Keith] No timestamps. – [Chris] Well, what’re we supposed to do? – [Keith] I guess we just guess. Aw yeah.
– [Chris] This one’s black. – [Keith] This one spent
some time at the beach. – I am not a fan of that.
– [Keith] Too brown. It’s very flavorful. – [Chris] It’s like naturally shredding. – [Keith] It becomes strings. You could knit a sweater outta this shit. – The flavor’s really good. – But the texture’s not perfect. – [Both men] Ohh! – No “wow factor”.
– [Chris] No “wow factor”. – I did think it looked sexy. – So I get one sexy nod, too? – Yeah, price was $7.99. Let’s pack it in. – Chicken? I’m thinkin’ Roscoe’s. Oh chicken, no, you thinkin’– – [Both men] Costco’s! – ♫ Chicken Watch 2K15 ♫ – “Chickens can be cannibalistic.” – Oh fuck! – “Debeaking helps them not be cannibals.” – So we’re pulling up to Costco right now, which is a membership only store. And we do not have Costco memberships. Are going to Costco? – [Chirs] We’re making a video
about chicken around the city and we wanna try the one from Costco, but we don’t have Costco cards. – Okay, just come–
– [Chris] Can we walk with you? Hell yeah. – [Keith] ♫ Chicken Watch 2K15 ♫ Wow. – Thoughts? – Skin does look crispy. – Ooh!
– That’s really good skin. – Now we try the white meat. – I think it tastes good. – I feel like garlic something,
something else, you know? – What do you expect? – Now, so we try the dark meat. – It’s like standard. Okay.
– [Keith] A little bit. – [Woman] Some came off mine.
– [Keith] We got some. – Here’s the thing. It’s definitely not
getting the “wow factor”. – It has big breasts. Sexy nod.
– See! See! We were just talking about–
– Sexy nod. – Chickens are really small, right? – Right. – Chicken breasts are like
the size of human breasts. – It was $4.99. Really we ought to thank my mother-in-law, ’cause that was my Christmas gift. Costco membership.
– Wow. – [Group] Chicken Watch 2K15. – [Woman] 15. – We’re on our way to Whole Foods? I feel like I just now am experiencing a little bit of chicken fatigue. ‘Cause we’ve had so much salt.
– [Chris] I’m feeling a little chicken fatigue. Whole Foods. Everyone in Whole Foods in
Los Angeles is really hot. Or hippies. – This chicken in $14. This chicken is $9. – We should probably
get the organic chicken. I got kombucha in my beard. That’s a pretty good lookin’ chick. Skin. – It’s fine. – You wanna be called “flavor buds”? – Yeah, we should be “flavor buds”! – I’m not even focusing anymore. I’m just eating. – This white meat, though, is leaner. – There’s something free range-y about it. – This is the best dark meat so far. – It’s like together. It has its shit together. I dunno, that’s hard. That’s a hard flick test. I don’t think Whole Foods
gets the “wow factor”. – No. – Because you’re like,
“You better be good, “you’re $13.99.” I don’t know if you saw
all the moms in there, but they got the Chris Sexy Mom Nod. – Woah, boy! I saw some sexy old ladies, too! – (groans) I’m so full. – ♫ Finger lickin’ chicken,
put it into your mouth ♫ – You gonna give these kids some chicken? Talk about chickens
without the words breasts or cock being brough up. – Or thigh, or leg. – Nobody wants a chicken brain. – We’re going to Sprouts. Have you ever been to a Sprouts? – No. I’m so tired. I need some vegetables. (sighs) – [Both men] Chicken Watch 2K15. – 2K. – I didn’t take into account how all this chicken would make us feel. – [Keith] Wow. – [Chris] Wow, it’s a chicken. – This skin doesn’t look right at all. But it’s amazing. – It’s really good. – Whoa. Whoa.
– [Chris] Holy shit! It’s the best dark meat, too. – Yeah. – [Chris] Ohh. – It’s right there, it’s like in-between– There you go. “Wow factor”? I mean, I’m blown away.
– [Chris] After abs… – Wow!
– [Keith] I’m fucking wowing! – I was sick of chicken. What was the price there? $6.99, right?
– [Keith] Fuckin’ so cheap. What if I drink a little
bit of chicken juice? – Keith. – Ooh! Ooh! Chris, a wishbone! – Oh yes! – This is the best rotisserie
chicken I’ve had so far. – I feel like we have a winner hands down. So what do we do to celebrate? – There’s a Chuck E.
Cheese’s across the street. – [Both men] Yes! – Don’t let the spiders eat the butterfly! (playful orchestral music) – [Both men] Yeah! (laughing) – [Chris] We did it!
– [Keith] That was awesome! (cheering) – If you haven’t had your chicken yet, we hope one day, you find your Sprouts. – And honestly, no matter what year it is, in our hearts, it’s always… – [Both men] Chicken Watch 2K15. – “If a rooster is not
present in a flock of hens, “a hen will often take
the role, stop laying, “and begin to crow.” – [Keith] Wow.
– [Chris] That’s kinda neat. – Will it start producing
sperm and grow a dick?